


The Cat Conundrum

by tattoos_n_honey



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Cats, Fluff and Crack, do not copy to another site, enjoy, i basically through crack into a candy floss machine, im sorry, john must teach him, sherlock deleted something, this is shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 13:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20546936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattoos_n_honey/pseuds/tattoos_n_honey
Summary: John solves a case and it makes Sherlock mad, but not for the reason you'd expect.





	The Cat Conundrum

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in a group chat on Twitter and we had a conversation on if Sherlock was a dog or cat person, then this was born after a joke I made.

John knew Sherlock could delete things that he deemed 'not important' from his mind (see _the solar system_) but he didn't know exactly what all he had deleted. Sherlock knew how to make tea, do experiments, patch his wounds, piss off the Yard, and so many other things. That was about it. Sherlock didn't broadcast everything he deleted, so one day when they were at a crime scene, John learned about one more thing that Sherlock had decided to erase from his almost all-knowing mind.

The case was fairly simple for Sherlock, he had only taken it because he was bored. A man had been murdered and left in his home. No friends, no family, not even a pet. This man - a retired uni professor named Matthew Freeman - was strangled. John had solved the case when he realized there was cat hair on the victim and only one of the suspects had a cat. The killer, Seth, was once a student in Mr. Freeman's English class. Seth had a grudge against him for embarrassing him in front of his whole class because of a badly written essay. Everything hit Seth once again when he realized he had moved in next door to his old teacher.

Once they were back at the flat, Sherlock threw himself onto the couch. "Sherlock? Are you ok? It's a bit early to be sulking," John commented as he went to the kitchen to make some tea.

"I do not _sulk_, John," Sherlock said, turning his head to the kitchen.

"Hm. So what's the problem?" John asked.

"The case."

"How so? It was pretty cut and dry."

Sherlock stood and stomped his way to stand at the kitchen table. "Yes!" he shouted, "For you! I couldn't even identify the fur!"

John turned at the first yell, surprised that it got Sherlock so angry. "Sherlock, it was just a cat. Most fur looks the same, I just happened to have the same cat as Seth growing up. It's not like you deleted cats," the doctor joked. Sherlock stood there fuming but then began to look like he was pouting. Realization struck John as the kettle began to boil. "My god. Sherlock Holmes. Did you delete _cats_?"

Sherlock didn't respond.

_He did._

_Sherlock bloody Holmes deleted cats_ .

"Wha- whe- wh-," John sputtered before grabbing two mugs.

"God, John, just spit it out already," Sherlock complained.

John placed two tea bags into the mugs and set them to steep. He turned around and braced himself on the counter. "Alright. When did you delete them? And why?"

Sherlock picked a piece of invisible lint off the right sleeve of his suit jacket. "I don't know the answers to those. Seeing as I deleted everything about them."

Crossing his arms, John pondered another question, "Fair. Um, do you remember what they look like?" Sherlock thought for a second and shook his head. "You don't? What about the cat at Connie Prince's house? What did you think that was?"

The detective shrugged, "I assumed it was an oversized hairless rat." John's eyes widened at the statement.

The doctor turned back to finish off the tea, "So, you're going to stand there and tell me you _deleted_ cats but _kept_ hairless rats?!"

"They are very interesting, John."

John handed Sherlock his mug then walked into the sitting room. He grabbed his laptop and sat down on the couch. John took a swig of his drink then set it on the coffee table. "Come sit down," he said. He wasn't asking. Sherlock walked over and sat at the other end of the couch, carefully sipping his tea. John poked at his keyboard. His tongue poked out between his lips which Sherlock know that John would do if he's focusing on something. John smiled and turned the laptop around. It was a picture of a ginger animal was sleeping on what looked like a couch.

"This is a cat," John explained. He pressed the arrow key, showing a new picture. It was another cat, but it looked different. This cat was outside and had white fluffy hair and big blue eyes. It looked almost like royalty. "This is another cat. Not all cats look the same. Some are hairless, like the one at Connie Prince's house, and others have pretty coats like this lovely girl right here."

The evening continued like this for a few more hours. Sherlock looked at grey tabbies, Russian blues, pure white cats, pure black cats, and so many in between. After tea was consumed, takeaway was ordered, delivered, and eaten, and lots of cat photos and videos (even some from a channel called Lucidchart), John had decided Sherlock knew enough about cats to finally go to bed. John giggled for about thirty minutes before finally falling asleep.

John thought the whole cat thing was behind him now. That changed when he came home from his shift at the clinic to see something new.

This new thing was Sherlock sitting on the floor, intently watching a small, fluffy, white cat - much like the one from the second picture John had shown him that night. Sherlock simply looked up at John and smiled, "Oh! John, you're home! Come meet Hydrogen."

***

(A few minutes after the boys started playing with Hydrogen)

"Ow! She scratched me!"

"Genny! You're not supposed to scratch Sherlock!"

"John, I'm going to delete cats again."

"SheRLOCK NO-"


End file.
